Have you ever heard anyone use the phrase “you can have it all”? I have, and I have even used it myself before but earlier this year I stopped for a moment to think about exactly what that meant. Someone said on one of my podcast “that it made them feel tired with the thought of having it all”. And that made me go hmmmm….they may indeed have a point there.
So after some introspection, I realized that it is not just the phrase “having it all” that sounded exhausting but the fact that to have it all, you must be able to think about the possibility of your doing it all. Now that sounds exhausting!
I recorded a podcast episode on it just this week. I wanted to share my perspectives on the “having it all” as well as share some tips for women who thought that was still in the cards for them. Far be it from me to say it couldn’t happen. I actually know a few women who are making it happen successfully, so I know it ‘s possible. Anything is possible…..so just check out the episode.
Interestingly enough, the thing that made me think about this was an article by Maya Salam, Does Having It All Mean Doing It All, where she includes a recent quote by Michelle Obama where Michelle talks about just that – having it all. She wrote this quote from Michelle’s speech:
“Marriage still ain’t equal, y’all. It ain’t equal. I tell women that whole ‘you can have it all’ — mmm, nope. Not at the same time. That’s a lie. It’s not always enough to lean in, because that [expletive] doesn’t work.”
— Michelle Obama
Having it all is definitely not my thing. I thought it was for me at one point but through my personal journey I have learned that my “having it all” is about enjoying the different lives that I have lived and the experiences I have had that helped me to grow into the sum total of the amazing person I am (yes, I think I am pretty amazing). That’s my having it all.
What about you? What is your “having it all” mean?
Great post Kimberly. I used to think having it all was what I wanted too, but then I started thinking about it and honestly didn’t even know what having it all meant to me. Now, if I think about what that means to me, I do have it all – I have a life I love; a wonderful relationship, running my own online business which gives me the freedom to travel, wonderful friends…I don’t want to have to juggle more than that so I’m good with my version of “having it all.” 🙂
Thanks Tishia, I totally love your definition of what having it all means to you. That is what it should be. Totally defined by you. Love it!
I told my daughter this just a couple of days ago. We were talking about parenting and working and just the regular life stuff, and in that moment she had a revelation – that just like women can’t have it all, neither can men. NO ONE can “have it all” at least not all at once. Great post!